I was asked what I do with my Fridays off ?
“Well you’re no longer at home changing nappies”
I should be at home washing the clothes, cleaning the floors, baking cakes, preparing dinner. There is not much time in the week to do all that boring, boring stuff. Although baking cakes is cool.
So what am I doing instead ?
I am planning and plotting. My mind never quiet.
“You are obviously not happy in your job if you’re starting a photography business”
No No No,
What I am is someone finally realising that to be creative is to heal. That to tend to the garden bursting to come out of my heart is to fend off my depression.
I like rules and methods and procedures and protocols. I write them for myself. But sometimes I like to colour outside the lines. Sometimes rules have to be broken. I can do it all. I can be a scientist and a photographer. In fact they are related, they are brother and sister, they are connected. If you want them to be.
We don’t have to stay in the box they put you in.
We can sprout tendrils and creep slowly across the land. We can find the light and harness it. We can show others their light. They may not see it today but they will someday.
My Top 3 Values. Compassion, Love and Authenticity. I have learnt all three from my parents, their treatment of their 3 “little women”.
I learnt compassion in the cold stream behind our stone cottage in Ireland. I found it crawling underneath a stone in the icy bog water. I learnt it has a right to breath the oxygen within the fresh clean water just as much as I do in the fresh clean Irish air.
I learnt love from my fathers big bear hugs and my mothers unwavering cool hands on my hot asthmatic forehead. I learnt love from my big sister when she got me out of the bath and wrapped a warm towel around me before the chill from our unheated bathroom caressed me.
I learnt authenticity from my little sister. Her resolve and honesty, always from a place of compassion , always staying true to what her heart is screaming at her.
I make decisions by feel. Those three lessons have taught me how to tune into those feelings.
When I studied science I did it because I love the Earth, I did it because my compassion for the aquatic environment was strong. I did it because I can never be anything but authentic.
When I studied photography I did it because I love people, I did it because my compassion for connection and pause and hopes and dreams was strong. I did it because I can never be anything other than authentic.
So no I am not happy unless I can pursue my three values.
So no I don’t have to be just a mother, just a scientist, just a photographer. I can and I am all three.
What are you ?
Are you all that you want to be ?
Are you all that they tell you to be ?
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I want to learn from everybody I meet.
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